He's Just Not That into You

I’m sitting at work right now with so many thoughts going through my head and absolutely no meetings or appointments, so a blog entry seemed appropriate.

I just keep thinking about that book (also movie), “He’s Just Not That into You” which is prompting me to evaluate my life. I have a handful more of disastrous dating stories to write about and a bunch of successful dating stories, (although who wants to read about someone else’s successful dates, right?) and yet I keep being drawn to the present. I’m in the middle of a ‘He's Just Not That Into You’ situation and although I know this, I can’t bring myself to accept it. Maybe I need some fantastic friends/readers to advise me on what to do?

As you know, I moved to Monterey approximately four months ago. I've had zero trouble meeting men here, in fact, it seems like for once I have a few too many options… and yet I’m hung up on one particular guy. We’re going to call him Charlie.

I met Charlie at the ultimate dive bar overrun with old drunk locals and hipsters thinking their $5 PBR’s were über badass. I had a friend visiting from out of town and after going to a West Coast version of a diner, a brewery and Monterey’s sad excuse for a night club; we ended up at the seedy dive bar as a last resort for socializing before heading home. We were sitting and chatting at a table when I noticed him across the bar. We made eye contact a few times and I probably gave my poor friend half my attention and vague responses as my eyes convinced him to come over to introduce himself. He brought a friend with him, an older, slightly overweight gentleman with a great laugh and we began to do the awkward background stories. His name was Charlie, he’d been living in the area for years which made him a local now and he’s into film production – which as a broadcast major fascinated me. At some point the jolly friend left and a tiny man from Boston replaced him. The Bostonian got into a fight with the couple sitting next to us and he flipped a girls chair over as a result. She was suddenly sprawled out on the floor, when all hell broke loose. Not wanting to get involved I wrote my name and number down, handed it to Charlie and my friend and I escaped before the fight escalated.

The next day Charlie texted me and we made plans to grab drinks the following Thursday. We met at the same dive bar as before, had a few drinks, and then decided to walk down to Cannery Row. He transformed into my own personal tour guide, showing me historic landmarks and sharing all sorts of fascinating information with me. After a couple hours, we ended up doing a full circle and we found ourselves at my car. We chatted for a few more minutes, very awkwardly, and then he said, “well, goodnight” hugged me and walked off to his car. Yup, you read correctly, hugged me.

The entire drive home I wondered why he didn't kiss me. I would have kissed him, but I've been told I can be too aggressive at times and decided to try letting the man take the lead for once.

When I got home I had a text waiting from him telling me what a fantastic time he had had with me and asking if I was free the following night to hang out again. I worked until 9 and my parents were flying in earlier in the day, but I told him I’d be down for one late night drink and would text him when I was free. We texted for a couple more hours ending with a, “I can’t wait to see you again” text from him.

The next night I ended up leaving my parents by 9:30pm, they were exhausted from their travels and I texted Charlie to find out where he wanted to grab a drink. No response. Not wanting to seem pushy, I didn't send a second text and figured he's respond within an hour or so. He never responded.

Two weeks later I was at a bar with my roommate and some friends when in walks Charlie. Before I could say anything I lost him in the crowd. I was drunk and thought it would be a great idea to text him. He gave me some bullshit story about meaning to text me, blah-blah-blah. I was drunk, therefore I had no filter. I called him out about not texting me back that night and told him that, “I get it, we’re obviously just friends”.  He told me he hopes that’s not true. I stopped texting and took a cab home.

A week later he texts me out of the blue saying that he misses me and really wants to hang out, so I say, “fine, I guess”. We make plans for the following evening. When he texted me at 10:30pm to see what was going on, I chose not to respond.

The next day I went to a Festival/Street Fair in his neighborhood, naturally I ran into him. He ditched his friend and we walked around for a couple of hours talking and catching up; he’s surprisingly easy to talk to and I found myself having a really nice time -  I even began to let my guard down a tiny bit. He introduced me to half the attendees of the street fair, in a "this is my girl" kind of way, which kinda tuned me off a little bit. When he left he told me he would text me later to see if I wanted to hang out. I told him I already had plans, but to let me know if he ended up anywhere fun. No text last night, which was fine, I was busy. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, this all happened yesterday.

He texted me moments ago saying, “It was good to see you.  Lets hang out soon”.

I’m thinking He’s Just Not That into Me, yet, I can’t stop thinking about him? Why?!

Dating Disaster: Revenge

Yesterday was a very trying day. I had to swallow my pride and hide my true emotions while every fiber of my being was screaming “fuck this shit". I’m not going to give the person who made me feel like this the dignity of having their own blog entry or even a name because, let’s face it, they don’t matter. Not to me or to the world. When people try to get ahead in life by bringing others down, they are nothing more than immature, insignificant people who don’t deserve a second thought.

It took me a few years to learn this, and I haven't always been a pro at hiding my emotions, I even managed to fall out of practice for a few years while living in San Francisco; cities do that to people. Now I'm back to my oh-so-normal self and ready to take on the world.

When I was a kid, my sister taught me how to hide what I was truly feeling. She told me that bullies were looking to make me cry and it would upset them if I kept a smile on my face and acted as though they didn't bother me. Surprisingly, it worked like a charm. If someone bullied me, instead of crying I smiled at them and shrugged it off. The tears came the second I got home and was in the privacy of my room or in the safety of my parent’s arms.

As I grew up I learned to swallow the tears completely, something I learned with my first high school "heartbreak". I was dating a boy named Nat; I was a virgin, he was not. We kissed and cuddled, but I was far from ready to have sex, especially with someone who was as experienced as he was. Looking back, he was disgusting and probably had an STD. We were 16 and he had already slept with at least 8 girls.

One night when we were hanging out with a few friends my best friend Monica proudly announced that she was not a virgin and loved having sex. The next day Nat took me for a walk and confessed that he had a “thing” for Monica and said, “You understand, right? I mean, you’ll hook us up, right?” Yeah, I understood, he preferred the chick who put out-IE, the easier option, not the virgin who was too smart to sleep with a creep like him. My entire body began to tingle, then it got numb as my face began to feel like it was on fire; but I kept a smile on my face and told him I’d see what I could do. When I got home I cried into my pillow for a while, composed myself and called Monica to vent about what a jerk he was. I mean, did he honestly think she’d date him after the way he treated her best friend? She told me that she agreed 100%, her was an asshole and that I could do 1000x better. I'll admit, I felt ions better. The next day at school Monica announced that her and Nat were dating. Again, that stinging sensation coupled with numbness and heat came back. This time there were no tears, only anger. I felt like someone had slapped me across the face and I wanted to return the favor, luckily I was not much of a fighter. I guess she couldn't do any better.

The years following that incident did not include a whole lot of heartbreak or stings from idiots like Nat, but then again I made it a point to initiate the break up’s to save myself the pain that I have experienced with him. When I moved to Santa Barbara I met some very interesting guys. Some turned out to be jerks, others were genuinely awesome people. Most gave me some fantastic dating stories and this is where this particular story turns into a dating disaster.

I met Matt my sophomore year of college. I was living in the big house on Del Playa with 11 other people and having the time of my life. One of my friends at the time was heavy into drugs and drinking. One night, while she was over at my house, she invited her pot guy to come over and hang out with us. He was hot. He had blonde dreads, bright blue eyes and the perfect surfer’s body. We instantly started flirting and my friend did not seem pleased. She warned me that he was from a different world and that we would never be a good match. He was a total hippie stoner; I was an alcoholic. Aren't those things one in the same?

We exchanged numbers and began hanging out, a lot. My friends would come with me to his house and watch him and his roommates play random music for hours (I swear it was way more exciting than it sounds). His friends would come to my house and party with us until the wee hours of the morning. I thought we really clicked and assumed he did too when he finally kissed me. After the kiss he told me he doesn't like to do anything with a girl unless he is in a committed relationship with them and thought it would be best to call it a night. The next night we were having a party at my house. He showed up with a few friends and quickly found me in the crowd asking me to take a walk with him down on the beach. My friends and roommates gave me thumb-up signs behind his back and beamed at us as we walked down to the beach, I was certain he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend. We walked along the water, a good 20 minutes from my house, in deep conversation about life and our morals, blah-blah-blah. When we reached the end of the beach he turned to me and said something I’ll never forget, “Lauren, I think you are a fantastic girl and I really enjoy spending time with you, I just don’t think you’re girlfriend material.”

That stinging feeling followed by the numb body and hot face immediately resurfaced, I still had those painful emotions even after all those years. I wanted to run away or cry or yell at him to fuck off; instead I smiled, thanked him for being honest with me and suggested we return to the party. When we got home he asked if he should leave, I told him “absolutely not” and proceeded to spend the night conveniently in the opposite room from him. Eventually he left and I told my very curious friends and roommates what had happened. Luckily, they were an awesome support team.

A month later I ran into Matt while at the local liquor store. He approached me and asked for a beer suggestion. I told him that Sam Adams Seasonal was my favorite and walked out of the store with the little dignity I had left around him. I got a text from him an hour later asking what I was up to, stating something about missing my company and offering to bring beer if I’d let him come over and hang out. I agreed to this, I was an alcoholic after all and free beer sounded great. :)

My roommates told me I was crazy and begged me to reconsider, asking if I’d forgotten how he had treated me a month earlier. I assured them I was fine with how things ended and that I did not want to have enemy; they looked at me like I’d lost my mind. He brought over a case of Sam Adams Seasonal Mix along with one of his friends. My roommates stayed for most of the night and made it clear they did not like him being there. Eventually they went to bed and his friend left. He ended up spending the night, but I refused to anything more than kissing reminding him of his “no sex while not in a relationship” rule. We began hanging out more and more, he even introduced me to his siblings and sister-in-law. We were practically a couple, having sleep overs and just calling each other to talk. Our sleepovers even became gradually less PG as the weeks passed, I could feel where this was leading fast.

After a few weeks of this he came over to my house wanting to talk. He said something along the lines of, “Lauren, you’re amazing and I need you to be my girlfriend. I need to know that you’re all mine and that I won’t have to ever share you again. I just can't live without you.” OK, I might have exaggerated a tiny bit, but you get the idea. I stayed silent for a minute, thinking. Finally, I looked him in the eyes and told him, “Wow Matt, that’s really sweet, but to be honest...I’m just not sure you’re boyfriend material.”

I knew the look that appeared on his face all too well, clearly he did not have a kick ass sister to teach him how to hide his emotions. First the stingy feeling hit him, then the numb, finally the hot face. He muttered “touché” then something about letting him know if I ever reconsider, then left me to brag to my roommates about how awesome I was hurting him the way he'd hurt me. OK, maybe I was a little harder on him than I could have been, but honestly, I had developed a real allergy to his dreads and was planning on ending things anyway. This just gave me the perfect way to seek revenge in the process.

I ran into him about a year later, we hugged and acted like long lost friends. I think we both realized that we had treated each-other like crap, although I would like to state for the record: He started it.

Easter Dating Disaster

Seeing as it is Easter Sunday I thought that it would be appropriate to provide my fabulous readers with an account of my worst Easter ever; which also happens to be a dating disaster.

This one has a whole lot of back story, but I promise it has to do with Easter. Names have been changed, mainly because I can, but also to protect identities and what-not.

In 2006 I moved into a house on Del Playa in Isla Vista, California, with 11 other people. It was awesome. I met tons to cool people and the friend’s I’d met the previous year in the dorms loved dropping by to drink on the beach with us. One such friend from the dorms introduced me to his close friends who had just moved from the Atascadero area. They were a year younger than me and it showed in their maturity level, not that I was much better-which you’ll agree with shortly.

One of the friends was named John. He was cute, but in my eyes very young. He had no clue what he wanted to do with his life; he was 18, in reality this was completely understandable, but I was year older and wiser and thought I had my future all planned out. He also had a huge crush on me, which he made very clear. I turned him down a few times, but he was persistent. We hung out a handful of times, playing beer pong and partying until the wee hours of the morning. One night, he kissed me, and I did nothing to stop him. That became our new thing, we would party and make out, but that was it. I just wasn't interested in anything further with “such a young guy”.

The more we partied, the more I got to know his roommate Mike. Mike was the opposite of John, he came off as mature and responsible, he knew what he wanted with his life and we secretly flirted when John wasn't looking. Yeah, we were super mature.

One night, we were all at my house playing drinking games when I excused myself to take a phone call in my bedroom. When I exited my room, Mike was coming out of the bathroom; we were completely alone and wasted no time once we made this realization. Within minutes he had me pinned against the wall as we shoved our tongues down each other’s throats. We started to back into my bedroom when John yelled to Mike to hurry up, apparently it was their turn to play beer pong. Although we weren't actually caught, we felt like we were and agreed not to act further until we discussed the situation with John. We weren't able to pull John aside to talk in private, so I got to spend the night dodging cuddles and kisses from John.

The next day Mike showed up at my house to tell me that he had had a long talk with John and although he was bummed, he gave us his blessing-and so began our mini-relationship.

We started dating a week or two before spring break and pretty much became joined at the hip for those two weeks. Basically the only time we were apart was when we were in class.

When spring break rolled around we suddenly found ourselves in a situation of separation. I was flying home to Connecticut for the week; he was driving home to Atascadero. He dropped me at the airport where we embraced for far too long spewing out some bull shit about how we’d miss each other “sooo” much, and then went our separate ways.  I remember being genuinely sad to be leaving him for a week.

We texted obsessively the first couple days, I was convinced we were soul mates and I was going through crazy relationship withdrawals. Then I took the train into New York City for a Metropolitan Museum of Art day. The MET was my second home growing up and is still my sanctuary. If I got the green light to choose my bed and move in, I’d do it in a heartbeat; and I know exactly which bed I’d choose-the one with the little cherubs hanging on the ceiling, in the renaissance wing of the museum.

I spent many days in my teen-hood at the MET and got to know a handful of the guards and other staff members. One such guard was Steven. He deserves his own blog entry, which will come eventually, but let’s just say Mike clearly was not my soul mate, which I learned when I ran into Steven.  After chatting with him for what felt like 10 hours (I think it was really 3 hours) I had forgotten all about Mike and was back to my non-relationship-flirty self.

When I returned to Santa Barbara a few days later, I had tasted single life again and was ready to embrace it in full. Mike picked me up at the airport, like a good boyfriend, telling me about the fun day he had planned for us. It was Easter Sunday and some friends were throwing a huge party that involved everyone bringing a food item that reminded them of their childhood Easter celebrations. I’m Jewish so I brought alcohol.

One of the dishes was something Lamb. I had never tried Lamb. Not for any religious reasons, it just never interested me, plus I always found Lambs to be rather cute. I was assured that I would like it, and was told I only had to try one bite. I did not like it.

 As it turns out I’m also allergic to Lamb. Within half an hour of eating it, I broke out into a cold sweat; I got dizzy and felt as though my stomach was going to burn out of my body. I stopped drinking when the room began to spin-which was from the allergic reaction, not the beer I’d had earlier. When Mike saw how ill I looked, he assumed I’d partied too hard and suggested going home. Naturally when we returned home my house was throwing a party, so there was no way I’d get rest there, so he suggested driving to his house.

I was sober, but sick, and volunteered to drive his massive pick-up truck because he was way too drunk to be driving. Holiday’s in Isla Vista mean hundreds of drunken people in the street and tons of cops wandering around on foot. The cops stopped us the second we tried to back out of my driveway. I explained that I was sober, but sick with a fever and was driving my boyfriend’s truck for the first time, to downtown where there was no partying, so I could sleep. Looking back, the cops should have made us call a cab. Instead, they directed us out of Isla Vista safely.

When we got to Mike’s, he tried getting all sexual with me, but I had a fucking fever and was not having any of it. I felt like crap and wanted to curl into a ball and sleep.  He kept trying and I told him to leave me alone, locking him out of his own bedroom. At one point I did allow him back in to sleep, making him promise he’d let up on the sexual crap. In the morning, my roommate picked me up from his house. I felt much better, the allergic reaction had subsided, although I did feel a little weak. Needless to say, Mike and I were done, although never verbally said “we’re breaking up” it was implied with the door slam in the morning.

What did I learn from the situation? When trying to end a relationship, eat something you are allergic to. This gives you an excuse to be as bitchy as you want. Also, I’m allergic to Lamb.

Disaster Date #3

Happy Sunday! :)

To keep up with the OK Cupid theme, here is the story of the first date I ever went on through that ridiculous dating website. This was the first of three, to get the details of the other two see my last two posts.

This particular date really wasn't that horrible, more uncomfortable than disastrous, but still worthy of a blog entry. I’d been living in SF for a little over a year; I was a few months out of a long term relationship and ready to get back in the dating game. A friend suggested OK Cupid; she had met her current boyfriend on the website and claimed a bunch of her friends met their current significant others through the site. I wasn't looking to jump back into a big relationship, but I thought dating someone new might be fun and figured it couldn't hurt to try.

*Side note, the friend who suggested it is now married to a guy she met on OK Cupid, I guess it works for some people.

Anyway, the first guy of any interest who contacted me was named Jeremy. He was attractive, witty and seemed like he actually knew what he wanted to do with his life. I think I was 22 and I had no clue what I wanted to eat for breakfast, let alone what I wanted to do with the rest of my life; hell, some days I still have no clue what I want to do with my life, although I'm pretty sure have a great outline: marry a pro-baseball player and be a stay-at-home mom with a kick-ass blog and have a killer tan.

Jeremy and I talked for a week or two and he seemed normal enough to me, so I agreed to meet him for drinks. I chose the bar, my go-to local bar The Dubliner and made sure to choose a night that a friend was working the bar. We made plans for 8:30 p.m., I showed up at 8 p.m. mainly because I was super nervous and didn't want to be late? Oddly enough, this was one of the few times muni was on time and got me to the bar in 5 minutes flat. Especially weird because the ride normally takes 15.

I told the bartender, Kyrie, why I was there, explaining that I was meeting a date from OK Cupid and that I was incredibly nervous because this was uncharted waters for me. She told me she completely understood and poured us both a shot of Patron (I don't know how to add the little accent above the O, imagine it's there). It didn't really help so I ordered a beer. As we got closer to 8:30pm, she could see how anxious I was getting and poured us both another shot. As we slammed the empty shot glasses on the counter a rather attractive man walked through the door, a rather attractive yet super short man. He got a big smile on his face and introduced himself as Jeremy. I’d completely forgotten to look at the “about me” section for his height. I’m 5’6”, I’m not a giant, but I easily towered over him. I’m guessing her was 5’2” and I’m pretty sure he was wearing lifts. He was well dressed with dark jeans, a dark green sweater and a blazer. I love when men wear blazers casually, over a t-shirt or sweater; such a sexy look.

So, at this point I’m 2 shots and most of a beer into the night and its only been half an hour. He suggests going upstairs to play some pool. He led the way and as soon as he has his back to me I caught eyes with Kyrie, she pointed to a bottle with a little green leprechaun on it and we errupted into drunken giggles. Poor Jeremy had no clue we were laughing about him; he couldn't help the fact that I was drunk and he greatly resembled the small green man on the bottle. Actually, he could have chosen a different sweater color.

We played a couple games of pool, Kyrie brought up a refill beer at one point and gave me that “do you need an escape look” but I was actually having a really nice time so I gave her a quick shake of the head and she retreated back to the bar. After playing pool we sat and chatted for a while. The conversation somehow drifted towards height and what a struggle being short had been for him in life; that he always had to ask strangers to reach things down from high places and had to stand on a chair in his kitchen to reach things down from the top shelf.

My drunk ass found this to be funniest thing I’d ever heard. Yup, I sat and laughed as this poor guy poured his heart out to me. I tried to lessen the blow by explaining that I was picturing him struggling on a chair to reach a plate in his kitchen, but for some odd reason he acted insulted and changed the subject. Looking back, I probably would have left if the tables had been turned-he was much more patient with me than I deserved.

We decided to go back down to the bar to finish our drinks. The entire time at the bar Kyrie and one of the regulars, Elliott  made faces at me, thus making me laugh even harder. At this point Jeremy had clearly had enough and announced that it was late and he should really be getting home. It was midnight, so I guess it was teetering on the late side. He'd put up with me for almost four hours! I began to look up the muni schedule but he insisted on driving me home, something about me being way too drunk to be on public transit alone. I lived about 8 blocks away and stood contemplating for way too long whether I should let a stranger drive me home or try my luck with muni. After getting two public drinking tickets in Santa Barbara I decided to try my luck with this small stranger. Kyrie made me text her every time we stopped at a light and the second I walked through my door.

Jeremy was actually a really good guy. I had him drop me a block from my apartment, because I didn't want him to know where I lived-in case he changed his mind and wanted to come back and kill me. I hugged him goodbye, thanked him for a fun night. He sped away the second my feet touched the sidewalk.

Needless to say, I did not go on a second date with Jeremy; but every year on March 17th I’m reminded of that incredibly awkward date.

Dating Disaster #2

As promised, here’s OK Cupid date disaster number two. I really had high hopes for this one, which was probably my first mistake.

His name was Graham, he was 26 (I had just turned 24), he had a full time job in the city doing something adult-ish, like accounting, he was Jewish and according to his pictures he was tall and in great shape. He emailed me with some line about me being his mom’s dream girl; I was attractive, college educated and Jewish, this made me giggle so I decided to give him a shot. We emailed back and forth for a couple of weeks until he finally asked me out to dinner. I suggested trivia night at my favorite bar, which was also close to home aka within running distance to safety. He said he was "down" for that but wanted to take me out to dinner first and suggested one of the most expensive restaurants in the area. Maybe I’m weird, but I have this thing were I don’t like having a first date somewhere expensive. If he "forgets" his wallet I end up paying I don’t want to be out an insane amount of money for a crap date with a guy I’m never going to see again-I imagine that’s how guys think on first dates too? Anyway, I told him pizza would be quicker especially if we were planning on making trivia at 8, so we decided on a casual pizza place down the street from the bar.

We met at the pizza place at 7pm. I got there a few minutes early and waited out front looking for a tall, muscular, attractive man. Instead I was approached by a short, rather plump, unattractive male, who was slightly balding. Clearly this guy was a photo-shop pro had very short friends. I was pissed, but really wanted to go to trivia so I decided to suck it up and go to dinner with him, maybe looks weren't everything?

He was loud, spoke with food in his mouth and wouldn't shut up. He talked non-stop about himself and his insanely boring life. When the check came, I tried paying for my share, he refused, we argued for a few minutes and I finally agreed to buy the drinks at the bar if he paid for dinner. He told me I reminded him of some chick from some TV show, I think it was  mean as a compliment but it was lost on me.

We made it to trivia just as it was about to begin. Within minutes of getting there I ran into a few friends; we hugged and caught up for a minute or two then they joined their table for trivia and I turned back to Graham. I swear I chatted with the girls for a total of two minutes, I introduced them to Graham, I wasn't excluding him at all, and yet he says, “Oh hi, I thought you’d forgotten about me, you know, your date.” I laughed and said, “Sorry, hadn't seen them since our college days!” He just rolled his eyes and mumbled something about expecting me to pay more attention to him. Umm, seriously? I order another drink and focus on trivia, telling myself that it will all be over soon. Did I mention he talks a lot? I forgot to mention that he was also a know it all. We’d get questions that I knew like, “What city is the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in?” I've been there, many times, so I'd write down Cleveland, Ohio. He would get angry and tell me that he’s 100% positive that I’m wrong, there is no Rock and Roll in Cleveland and would change the answer to something moronic, like L.A.. This happened with over half the questions and every single time we got the question wrong. I was less than pleased-I was hoping to win the $50 bar tab.

That’s when my friend Faye walked in with some shitty news. The show I’d worked on for a year at CBS had just gotten cancelled. Although I was no longer working on the show, I was still close with the staff and felt horrible for them! I was devastated and excused myself from the date to step outside to call one of the producers to see how he was holding up. We chatted for a good ten minutes, he was touched that I'd called and vented about his future and supporting his family, etc. Maybe it was rude of me to call my friend while on a date, but it was important to me and Graham was being a jerk. When I returned I was visibly upset as was Graham; he was pissed that I dared console a friend while on a date with him. Icing on the cake was when he ordered his next drink, which he needed to make himself feel better about being ditched for ten minutes. Erin, the bartender who also happened to be one of my close friends, was at the other end of the bar, you know, serving drinks. Well Graham wanted a drink and apparently didn't want to wait like a normal person, instead he snapped his fingers at her and said, “Barkeep, yo barkeep, I need another.” She took one look at him, one look at me (pity in her eyes) and turned her back to him and continued serving drinks at the other end of the bar. He was not humored and got louder, demanding she serve him another drink. At this point I told him that I was too upset about my friends show getting cancelled and wanted to call it a night. We walked out together, he got on muni, I waved goodbye and I walked back into the bar and finished trivia with my friends.

The next day I got a text from him apologizing for his behavior the night before. He stated that he was acting like a horrible boyfriend and should have been more comforting in my obvious time of need, then offered to come over if I needed a shoulder to cry on. Uh, boyfriend? 

I told him I appreciated the apology, but I don’t see us having a future. He was devastated and asked me to reconsider, that he really didn't see this break up coming, especially via text message.