I’m sitting at work right now with so many thoughts going through my head and absolutely no meetings or appointments, so a blog entry seemed appropriate.
I just keep thinking about that book (also movie), “He’s Just Not That into You” which is prompting me to evaluate my life. I have a handful more of disastrous dating stories to write about and a bunch of successful dating stories, (although who wants to read about someone else’s successful dates, right?) and yet I keep being drawn to the present. I’m in the middle of a ‘He's Just Not That Into You’ situation and although I know this, I can’t bring myself to accept it. Maybe I need some fantastic friends/readers to advise me on what to do?
As you know, I moved to Monterey approximately four months ago. I've had zero trouble meeting men here, in fact, it seems like for once I have a few too many options… and yet I’m hung up on one particular guy. We’re going to call him Charlie.
I met Charlie at the ultimate dive bar overrun with old drunk locals and hipsters thinking their $5 PBR’s were über badass. I had a friend visiting from out of town and after going to a West Coast version of a diner, a brewery and Monterey’s sad excuse for a night club; we ended up at the seedy dive bar as a last resort for socializing before heading home. We were sitting and chatting at a table when I noticed him across the bar. We made eye contact a few times and I probably gave my poor friend half my attention and vague responses as my eyes convinced him to come over to introduce himself. He brought a friend with him, an older, slightly overweight gentleman with a great laugh and we began to do the awkward background stories. His name was Charlie, he’d been living in the area for years which made him a local now and he’s into film production – which as a broadcast major fascinated me. At some point the jolly friend left and a tiny man from Boston replaced him. The Bostonian got into a fight with the couple sitting next to us and he flipped a girls chair over as a result. She was suddenly sprawled out on the floor, when all hell broke loose. Not wanting to get involved I wrote my name and number down, handed it to Charlie and my friend and I escaped before the fight escalated.
The next day Charlie texted me and we made plans to grab drinks the following Thursday. We met at the same dive bar as before, had a few drinks, and then decided to walk down to Cannery Row. He transformed into my own personal tour guide, showing me historic landmarks and sharing all sorts of fascinating information with me. After a couple hours, we ended up doing a full circle and we found ourselves at my car. We chatted for a few more minutes, very awkwardly, and then he said, “well, goodnight” hugged me and walked off to his car. Yup, you read correctly, hugged me.
The entire drive home I wondered why he didn't kiss me. I would have kissed him, but I've been told I can be too aggressive at times and decided to try letting the man take the lead for once.
When I got home I had a text waiting from him telling me what a fantastic time he had had with me and asking if I was free the following night to hang out again. I worked until 9 and my parents were flying in earlier in the day, but I told him I’d be down for one late night drink and would text him when I was free. We texted for a couple more hours ending with a, “I can’t wait to see you again” text from him.
The next night I ended up leaving my parents by 9:30pm, they were exhausted from their travels and I texted Charlie to find out where he wanted to grab a drink. No response. Not wanting to seem pushy, I didn't send a second text and figured he's respond within an hour or so. He never responded.
Two weeks later I was at a bar with my roommate and some friends when in walks Charlie. Before I could say anything I lost him in the crowd. I was drunk and thought it would be a great idea to text him. He gave me some bullshit story about meaning to text me, blah-blah-blah. I was drunk, therefore I had no filter. I called him out about not texting me back that night and told him that, “I get it, we’re obviously just friends”. He told me he hopes that’s not true. I stopped texting and took a cab home.
A week later he texts me out of the blue saying that he misses me and really wants to hang out, so I say, “fine, I guess”. We make plans for the following evening. When he texted me at 10:30pm to see what was going on, I chose not to respond.
The next day I went to a Festival/Street Fair in his neighborhood, naturally I ran into him. He ditched his friend and we walked around for a couple of hours talking and catching up; he’s surprisingly easy to talk to and I found myself having a really nice time - I even began to let my guard down a tiny bit. He introduced me to half the attendees of the street fair, in a "this is my girl" kind of way, which kinda tuned me off a little bit. When he left he told me he would text me later to see if I wanted to hang out. I told him I already had plans, but to let me know if he ended up anywhere fun. No text last night, which was fine, I was busy. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, this all happened yesterday.
He texted me moments ago saying, “It was good to see you. Lets hang out soon”.
I’m thinking He’s Just Not That into Me, yet, I can’t stop thinking about him? Why?!